On the nutritional content of sperm

Round 3 in a boxing match is usually about the time people begin to tire out. There have been two prior entanglements and the energies have begun to wane. Never fear Baruch students for I refuse to relent! Round 3 belongs to the ladies. At first I feared a bombardment of letters with regard to diets and boys. Nevertheless there were a few rather interesting questions; nothing as drastic as orangeade but still entertaining. Enjoy!

Dear Scorpion Sting,

Well my new boyfriend and I were fooling around the other night with the lights on. Although the lights were on, our clothes were coming off. Then, I encountered a sight I had never expected-he was uncircumcised and I froze. I had never seen one quite like that. What am I to do? And how come I didn't notice before? Should I be worried?

Uncut

Dear Uncut,

I hate to tell you but your boyfriend is not kosher, or a really bad Jew. Assuming that he is neither, on with your concerns: The fact that you froze is not uncommon. Often times, when people are faced with an unfamiliar sight it takes them a while to process what they are viewing. The reason you did not notice before is because it is not apparent when the male is fully aroused. If your boyfriend is a clean guy and takes good care of himself, you have nothing to worry about.

Remember, different does not necessarily mean worse. In fact, uncircumcised men are supposedly more sensitive (and I don't mean emotionally). So, embrace the differences of your significant other and who knows what might happen?

Dear Scorpion Sting,

Here's the story: I'm straight- and I'm secure with my sexuality -so one night me and a friend went out and got really drunk- I swear never to drink cheap wine out a cardboard box again! On with the story- that night we get home stripped down to our skivvies and

crawled into bed (too drunk to look for pajamas)- then my friend turns to me and asks if I've ever kissed a girl. She declares that she has not and proceeds to kiss me.

The thing is I never kissed a girl before either. Best of all, my boyfriend hates my friend because she threatened to steal me from him. Furthermore, my boyfriend declared that if I ever so much as kiss another person, male or female, it constitutes cheating. Now the question is, do I tell my boyfriend? Does it really count as cheating? I mean we were drunk and it truly meant nothing. What do you think?

Never Been Kissed

Dear Never Been Kissed,

Is one drunken night and harmless kiss to a girl worth ruining a relationship over? Somehow, you have managed to snag yourself a traditionalist. Had your boyfriend not been opposed to girl on girl action I'd say you should invite him. He would not be mad; rather I believe that he would be extremely pleased (and might even grab a video camera). Seeing the fact that your boyfriend believes a kiss to anyone other than him is cheating and he loathes your best friend it would not be a wise idea to invite him to join if it ever happens again.

Although, I fail to see how chicks in nothing but their underwear making out on a bed would upset any man. But maybe it's just me. All girls have their inside jokes – let this be yours.

Dear Scorpion Sting,

Does sperm have calories?

Curious

Dear Curious,

At about age 12, men begin to produce sperm. The amount of sperm produced per ejaculation is measures one or two teaspoons. The average number of individual sperm per ejaculation is unbelievable, around 300-400 million. However, only 5% of the ejaculate consists of sperm. The number of calories per teaspoon of sperm tops out at about 15. Contrary to what you've heard, semen is not loaded with calories.

Each teaspoon of ejaculate has about 5 - 7 calories and some 200 - 500 million sperm. Since sperm make up only about 1 percent of semen, what accounts for the other 99 percent? Well, its other ingredients include: Fructose sugar, Water, Ascorbic acid (a.k.a., vitamin C), Citric acid, Enzymes, Protein, Phosphate and bicarbonate buffers (bases), and Zinc.

After thought: it is impossible to through life without human contact. Although not all contact is intentional the world is only so big. People are hurdled together on a daily basis and for countless reasons some of these people kiss, some suck, and some even swallow. Best of all, some of these people are bold enough to seek knowledge and consultations about their lifestyles and pastimes for our entertainment.

Speaking of lifestyles – next issue is dedicated to alternate lifestyles. I would love to hear from the lbgt community. Please address your questions to xxscorpion_stingxx@yahoo.com.