Column: Being Friendly Goes A Long Way

I have a bone to pick with some Baruch students. If you have read my other articles, then you know that I have been trying to help people who are on a journey to find some friends. I would like to believe that there are some students who have taken my advice and that it has worked out for them. As for the others, keep trying. There is, however, a third group of people, and they are students who have their solid group of friends but are making it harder for the less fortunate to find the same thing.

If someone approaches you, even if you have no interest in forming any type of relationship with that person, be friendly! You might not realize this, but your coldness may be turning people away from approaching anyone ever again. I am sure that you would rather not turn your school into a freezer, devoid of any warmth. If you do, well then tough! Most sane people want to spend their time in a warm environment. If someone asks you a question about last night's assignment, or compliments your shoes, be nice! Answer the question, or accept the compliment warmly. The way you react may affect a person greatly, so beware of your actions.

Why is it that people feel the need to walk in packs? You have six friends. I get it. Does that mean that you need to walk around with them all of the time? There are groups of people that I see together literally all the time. They walk in a line like a flock; I have even seen people walking in a "V" formation, like birds. They stomp everyone else out of the way. Is that really necessary? People are struggling to find their niche and you are shoving their lack of it in their faces. I get that you want to spend time with your friends, but flocks of people are intimidating. When the professor tells you to work in groups, why not split up your group of friends and integrate yourselves into the class? Why not spread the wealth? Why not reach out to someone? Help a lonely student find a flock.

Imagine: class is over and club hours has begun. You have been talking to someone in your class for the last 10 minutes and walk out with them. You see your group of friends and walk off to have lunch with them leaving the person you had been talking to behind. Why not invite them? Say "Hey want to grab some lunch?" How hard is that? It is a lot easier for shyer people to make friends if those who are more outgoing and have an established posse help ease the process.

I am very happy that there are students in school that have lots of friends; after all, it is what I try to help people achieve. However, just because you were lucky to find a group that you fit into, this does not mean that you should stop trying to make new friends and help others out. Meeting new people and making new friends is never a bad thing. So, try to help out the lonely ones. Please, dissolve your packs, ditch the cold attitude and sprinkle some of that friend-making talent on the rest of Baruch.