Between the buns: a burger review

Once past the faded, painted and re-painted looking exterior in this Lower East Side neighborhood, one that has been bustling for over a hundred years and looks the part, the restaurant Alias at 76 Clinton St. offers a sleek and modern dining destination that fully reflects both the area’s gritty past and its up-and-coming trendiness.

Grit and glitter aside, the real meat of the restaurant is how they handle their burgers.

The patties are generously sized and rested on a large bun, as well as being served with grilled onions and sauce. Ordered rare, the burger is somewhere in between being “gently cooked” and “browned on the outside.” But that’s always a better bet than being fully overcooked. The meat is definitely tender and juicy. It could have used a pinch, or in my case a few pinches of salt, but otherwise it was pleasantly surprising.

The bun was full-sized, extending just past the edge of the burger and appeared hearty. But looks aren’t everything. The two burgers sampled suffered severe bun-fracturing disorders. It had a good texture though, lightly crunchy and slightly dense, exactly what a great burger looks for in a partner. If it were not for the fracturing, leading one burger to be eaten with a fork (though in such cases, fingers are a perfectly acceptable option), the bun would have been a complete success. No napkin can suffice in such a situation. There was no choice but to make a trip to the bathroom to clean up after the meal.

A few toppings were available; a couple of cheese choices and bacon were the main eye-catchers. All of these will cost you extra, however, so much so that it is probably not worth it.

Now about the onions. Under almost all circumstances, grilled onions are an amazing and flavor-boosting addition. This was perhaps the first run-in with onions that actually made eating a hamburger challenging. And they still didn’t add much in the flavor department.

The onions were thick-cut, a very nice touch if you fancy yourself a fan, but they were nearly impossible to bite through. Every single onion was stringy and tough, almost as if strips of plastic were pulled out from underneath the meat, and they had about as much flavor. The onions can be passed over, but it’s extremely odd that doing that would be necessary.

Unlike most sit-down restaurants, the fries are not included with the burger. This could be good or bad depending on appetite and budget. If hunger is screaming loud and clear, the three extra dollars for the fries will make certain the stomach leaves satiated. They are huge, thick slices of potato, but not quite fried to perfection. Even though they had a decent flavor, they were a bit mushy save the outside crust.

The bill is the least favorite part of any meal and here at Alias, it can be a little upsetting, though usually not something that would keep people away.

An average burger meal that includes fries and toppings can easily run you around $15, not including the tip. That price is fairly common in a sit-down restaurant, but in the burger world overall, that is a bit much. If you are going to charge that much for a hamburger with fries, it better be of pretty good quality.

And the quality of the burger experience at Alias ranks high enough to justify spending the money to eat here, but it just misses the mark that leaves a mouth watering for more. It’s a decent restaurant in an interesting neighborhood.

It is quiet during lunch and has a fully-stocked bar. Easily acceptable if you happen to be in the area, but it’s not worth the trip just to eat there.

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